Tag: meaningful gifts

  • “Bad Doggie, No Biscuit”: When Festival Magic Meets Umbrella Justice

    “Bad Doggie, No Biscuit”: When Festival Magic Meets Umbrella Justice

    Festival Memories That Still Make Us Smile

    Some stories stick with you like sawdust on your work clothes — the kind that make you grin unexpectedly while carving a new piece. This one comes from our Kansas City Renaissance Festival days, complete with haunted houses, umbrella-wielding grandmothers, and legendary laughter. 🎃

    Back When Fairs Had Soul

    Years ago, I was part of a Renaissance festival community — not today’s cookie-cutter corporate fairs, but the genuine article run by the Kansas City Art Institute. The site was seven (7) miles from my home and I still consider KCRF my home faire. Handmade everything, cobbled-together magic, and wonderfully odd theater folk who’d make Monty Python proud.

    During the off-season, we often created haunted houses. Picture classic monsters lurking in carefully crafted scenes, animatronics jury-rigged by creative actors, and an entrance tunnel so disorienting that most visitors missed the first path split entirely.

    The Setup

    Our werewolf friend worked the “sissy path” — the gentler route with fewer jump scares but still plenty of atmosphere. His big moment came after gruesome dioramas: leap from the shadows screaming whatever seemed scariest that night.

    The Legend is Born

    Enter one rainy evening and an elderly Eastern European grandmother, separated from her grandchildren who’d convinced her to brave the maze. Picture old-world elegance: black headscarf, long coat, large umbrella doubling as a walking cane.

    She’d been stoic throughout — no screams, just occasional disapproving tongue clicks at the displays. Completely unflappable.

    Until our werewolf made his move.

    “DINNER!” he roared, leaping toward what seemed like an easy mark.

    Without missing a beat, she swung her umbrella with fencer’s precision — THWACK — right between his eyes.

    In her magnificently stern, accented voice:

    “Bad doggie. No biscuit.”

    Then, with a satisfied “hmph,” she repositioned her umbrella and walked straight to her confused grandchildren.

    The Ripple Effect

    Sound carries in haunted houses.🎃 Every actor heard that moment of umbrella justice, and not one could keep a straight scary face afterward. The howling laughter probably terrified more patrons than our carefully crafted scares.

    Many wished they’d witnessed it (I know I did). Those present were sad they missed giving her the standing ovation she deserved.

    What This Means Today

    Festival folk are strange and wonderful people who collect stories like souvenirs. At Sarkanys Rising, every handcrafted piece carries that same spirit — authentic craftsmanship with unexpected delight.

    When you pick up one of our wooden creations, you’re getting something with soul, made by people who believe in handmade magic. Because the best stories, like the best art, come from real moments that become conversation starters and memory makers.

    These days, when you hear me (Dawn) say “no biscuit” in an unusual accent, you’ll know why. Some moments are too perfect not to carry forward. Will we see you at our first Renaissance Festival this year? Looking forward to making new memories.